Game Pictures by Steven Marcus

DOBSON STADIUM-- Ah, the joy… The joy of waking up and looking forward to a great thing you know is coming up soon. The joy of making plans with friends and family around this thing. Last but not least, the joy that comes from the fact that the thing in this case is the beginning of Pulaski County High School football season!!!

Ladies and lady killers, I, Pete Cougar, have once again dragged out the clipboard, cap, and “Joker sheets” (note sheets) to get in the thick of things and bring you the most official unofficial Cougar info on the internet. Wow, it feels good to be doing this again. I hope it feels good for all of you, my adoring public (snort!), to be reading my stuff again.

By the way, I have an apology to make concerning my absence in the preseason action. I just got a new computer and we were getting used to it.

But enough with the cushy crap. You hit this site to read about football, so here goes it.

After the usual pre-game socializing, marching band (Northside’s, who did a dance routine that looked like something out of west Africa but was pretty cool), and other festivities, the Cougars and the Vikings marched out to midfield. Northside won the toss and declined to the second half. Viking kicker Jeremy Theis sent the ball straight into the endzone for a touchback and put the Cougars on their own twenty yardline to begin the action. New starting tailback Chad Thompson (senior) got quarterback Ryan Dean’s (senior) handoff and ran it up to the twenty-nine for a decent first play. Sophomore and fullback Kevin Crouse ran the ball on the next play, gaining nothing. Luis Piscura, (junior) starting kicker and punter, launched the ball across the field to the Vikings’ thirty-five yardline where the returner fumbled it and z-back Dominique Degraffenried (junior) snatched it for a Pulaski recovery, much to the delight of the cheering home folks. When asked what was going through his head at the time, he kept it simple. “I saw the live ball and just got on it.”

With the down first and ten on the opponent’s thirty-five, Kevin Crouse tried his hand at running again. He got one yard and went down. Chad Thompson tried again after that and fumbled the ball for a Viking recovery.

The Vikings were stationed at the thirty-nine. Their starting quarterback, Ben Creasy, got the snap. He didn’t even have time to curse before a six-foot-one two-hundred thirty pound freight train named Ernie Hodge sacked him and used his shoulder to give his target a new tattoo. This put the ball on the thirty-six instead. Northside was fouled for moving early and it was declined. Creasy dropped back for a pass next and got hit by Hodge again, causing him to throw one that can only be described as weak. This made the down fourth and a long thirteen. But wait. Did Northside give up on their down and punt, the way any other team would??? Well, yes they did, actually.

Senior Steven Cobbs returned the punt and the Cougars got hit with clipping. (a bogus charge, by the way. For those who don’t know my work here, I am not politically correct with my articles. They are biased, unnecessarily detailed, and feature only the driest high-school jokes as a cheap replacement for humor, but I DO know a foul when I see one and will report it even if it is not called.) Oh well. Anyway, after that, Kevin Crouse got the handoff again and this time, for the first time in his high school career, scored a touchdown. After running twenty-five yards untouched, one would have to feel great. Kevin sure did. When asked how he felt after running that play, he simply laughed and said, “great. It makes me want another one.” Kicker Luis Piscura “kicked” it up one more point so that the score was 7-0 with 7:20 remaining in the first half of the first half.

Piscura sent the following kickoff to the returner who charged up to the eighteen before going down at the hands of senior safety Will White. From there, running back Drew Dill ran the ball and got nowhere. The down was second and ten on the eighteen. The Cougars stepped it up again and made Northside fumble, while senior defensive tackle Matt Robertson (six-foot one, three-hundred fifteen lbs.) recovered. When asked about it, he laughed and said, “that’s what ya gotta do when you’re on defense.”

From Northside’s eighteen, Chad Thompson ran the ball to the eleven but Pulaski was flagged for holding. This dragged them back to the thirty-one. Ryan Dean got the snap and was almost sacked but managed to get the ball away for an incomplete pass to Steven Cobbs before getting hit. Chad got the ball again after that and faked right, going left to reach the twenty-six. With eighteen yards still needed for a first down, Ryan Dean tried another pass to Cobbs but Cobbs was covered so it fell incomplete again. This made the down fourth and still eighteen. On this play, Ernie Hodge and his buds dragged out that sneaky criss-cross play that cougar fans can’t get enough of. Dean handed off to somebody, and then they ran right and handed the ball to Hodge, who ran it straight through the center untouched all the way to the endzone. The following extra point by Luis Piscura was straight-up perfect. There were 4:47 remaining in the quarter.

Viking running back Drew Dill caught the kickoff in the endzone for a touchback. From the twenty, some dude that happened to have the ball gained three yards before Senior fullback Rashad Simmons and junior cornerback Austin Twine put the smackdown on him. (The announcer got a little discombobulated and thought it was seven yards for a second. Wake up, man.)

An anonymous four-yarder followed, and then Ryan Dean played his defense card and got in a really good hit that prohibited any gain at all. With the down fourth and three, Northside punted. The ball sailed and landed dead at about the Vikings’ forty-three-and-a-half yardline. Chad Thompson got it next, and almost literally danced up to the thirty-five, Cinderella-style. With one to go, Crouse got the ball and a first down. He also carried for the next two plays, first romping to the twenty-seven and then to the eighteen for a second first down. For the final play of the first quarter, Chad Thompson wrestled his way up to the fifteen and went down at the hands of Viking linebacker Lance Tate.

Chad Thompson contradicted the mood of this slightly slower second quarter by literally sprinting left and diving for the twelve yardline. Rashad Simmons carried next and got to the nine before being all but assaulted by a whole crowd of Vikings. It was now first and goal. Chad wrestled to the six, carried again for a no-gainer, and then Pulaski took a timeout. Afterwards, Ernie Hodge criss-crossed his way into another touchdown for the Cougars before Piscura scored another extra point. With 9:56 left in the half, the score was now 21-0.

After a delay of game penalty against Pulaski, the kickoff reached Viking running back Chris Hobson who got up to the twenty-nine and then was “introduced”—very abruptly—to senior Cougar linebacker Frank Baldwin. Ben Creasy decided to run the ball himself next and reached the thirty-one before fumbling and watching his teammates recover it. At about this point in time, I realized that Northside had not yet in the first half had a first down. Cool. Anyway, running back Drew Dill got more yardage than that—three, that is,-- and got tackled by Steven Cobbs who was weighted down by Rashad Simmons a second later. With the down third and five on the thirty-four, Creasy launched a long bomb of a pass that fell incomplete but was also nearly intercepted by Steven Cobbs. Northside punted.

Cobbs caught the ball on the forty yardline and basically either tripped or slipped. Either way, he got more yardage than any dude who would’ve been at the endzone. Kevin Crouse carried and ran into the middle of the line, bouncing back like a rubber band ball for no gain. Chad Thompson was then caught in the backfield and went down on the thirty-six. Dean tried a long bomb to Cobbs, who was somewhere near the Vikings’ twenty-five or thirty yardline when he barely missed it. An inch more and it would have been in the bag. Seeing as how the down was now fourth and fourteen, Luis punted. It bounced out-of-bounds at the thirty-two.

Viking running back Chris Hobson carried first, taking himself and his boys up to the forty-three. Creasy then ran a keeper to the right—then to the left—then right again—and then got tackled by Ryan Dean. What was gained? A laugh from the home crowd. Still on the forty-three, Northside was hit with delay of game and went back to their thirty-eight. After that, they were hit with illegal procedure and were pushed back again to the thirty-three, only after getting winded by a hit from the massive Matt Robertson. When they decided they were ready to come out of the corner and play nice with the rest of the kids, they ran the ball back up to the thirty-eight. Creasy ran another quarterback keeper and again got nothing except a hard hit from junior defensive end Casey Turpin. Viking kicker Jeremy Theis then punted the ball to Pulaski’s twenty-four yardline.

Ernie Hodge wasted no time in criss-crossing and getting eight more yards added to his record. From the thirty-two, Kevin Crouse reached the thirty-eight for a first down, and then gained one more yard on the next carry. Chad Thompson ran left to the forty-two, and then there was a timeout. After that, Ryan Dean passed to Steven Cobbs again but the ball was intercepted by Ben Creasy. It was a disappointment, but since it was mere seconds till halftime no one really cared. From their own nineteen, Northside executed a play. Well, duh, but I don’t know what to call it. I’m not sure what happened. I’m not even sure something did happen. From what I heard, Viking head coach Jim Hickam basically gave it up for the first half as the clock dwindled down to triple zero.

Halftime was decent, as usual. The Golden Cougar Marching Band did a great routine (no rain dancing like Northside’s, I noticed, but it was still pretty good), and the food from the snack bar was terrific. Actually, I just had a Sierra Mist but it sounded good to include that.

Pulaski kicked off to kickoff the second half. Chris Hobson returned it to about the thirty-five or somewhere in that area and the Cougars were hit with a flag for facemask (again, it was so bogus it constituted a copyright violation. The Pulaski dude grabbed Chris’s jersey.) The next two carries spotlighted our Cougar defense. Matt Robertson and sophomore Brent Osborne got the tackle first, and on the next play it was almost literally done by the whole line. Neither carry saw any kind of gain. Northside reached the forty-seven next, and they got a flag for holding which was declined. The down was fourth and six now. The Vikings punted.

Chad Thompson carried the ball to about the thirty-eight before going down. Ernie Hodge did another quick criss-cross to the forty-seven, carrying his tackler (Northside linebacker Derek Besase) for a total of four yards before falling. Kevin Crouse tried to get those last two yards for a first down but ran a no-gainer instead, while a Viking lost his helmet. Luis Piscura punted again. Ben Creasy (Northside QB, for those of you whom I’ve lost) returned it and was tackled by senior outside linebacker Ian Montgomery on the mere thirteen yardline.

To begin this short and completely uneventful drive, Ben Creasy threw an incomplete pass to some guy who fell. Steven Cobbs, who had been covering, tripped over him. That was pretty funny. An anonymous gain of two followed, and then on the next play Ben Creasy was sacked again by America’s sweetheart, Ernie Hodge. With the down fourth and fifteen, Theis and the Vikings decided to go ahead and punt again. (Lord knows why…).

Steven Cobbs caught the ball and returned it up to the thirty-three where he was tackled so hard he was forced out-of-bounds and into a line of second-string cougars. From there, Chad Thompson juked and jived his way to the thirty. After that, he carried again and ran straight to the right before turning left ninety degrees, reaching the twenty-nine, and getting slammed. After an officials’ timeout which saw Jim Hickam obviously cussing out a referee, Chad reached the twenty-five yardline with a faked criss-cross, a move I certainly have not seen before. However, that was fourth down and there was not enough yardage to save the drive so the ball was turned over to Northside.

Three yards were gained in a play that my brother Tommy ingeniously referred to as a “jumble.” Northside was flagged on the next play and backed up to their twenty-three. From there, only a yard was gained because of a certain individual named senior defensive tackle Kasey McCambridge. (six-foot three, two hundred fifty lbs.) The next play I will not describe because of content except that it involved McCambridge and Ernie Hodge and resulted in a three-yard loss. With the down fourth and fifteen again, Theis punted. The ball was rushed and slightly tipped by an anonymous cougar, making it fall only to Northside’s forty-seven. Kevin Crouse began the drive by bowling his way down to the forty-three. He ran it again on the next play and the entire defensive line was ready for him. In a split second there were about four linemen holding him back. Luckily, senior safety Nathan Roseberry was there to ram Crouse from the back so that he at least gained the first down. An anonymous cougar carried the ball for a no-gainer as the third quarter came to a close.

The beginning of the fourth quarter was interesting. With a good 11:52 remaining in the game, (out of a 12-minute quarter) Ernie Hodge ran yet another beautiful criss-cross for another beautiful touchdown and another beautiful extra point by Luis Piscura. Folks, a little side note on Luis: this fella must have played soccer at some point. As a matter of fact, I think he did. At the Bluefield scrimmage a few weeks ago, the dude kicked a freakin’ fifty-yard field goal! Anyway, in eight football seconds into the fourth quarter, the score had changed to 28-0.

Luis kicked off to the Northside returner sort of soccer-style, long and low. The player took it in the gut and managed to skip up to the thirty-five before Steven Cobbs nailed him. A six-yarder followed, and on the play after that, Northside fullback Antwan Llamas was run out-of-bounds and literally knocked one of the measurement chain-holding guys down. (OK sue me, I don’t know what they’re called) Running back Drew Dill gained only one yard before being autographed to the field by the two (C)Kaseys, McCambridge and Turpin, who simply fell on top of him. Chris Hobson of Northside made it from their forty-six to Pulaski’s forty-eight, where quarterback Ben Creasy managed to throw a pass while being tackled by Frank Baldwin at the same time. It was lousy and had bad form but it connected before the carrier went down he had gained seven yards and a first down. Drew Dill ran it again after that and got three yards before getting totaled by Matt Robertson, Rashad Simmons, and Kasey McCambridge. That’s a total weight of exactly eight hundred pounds in your face!!! Wow. Ouch. Anyway, other than another Simmons slam the rest of the drive was uneventful.

An anonymous gain of three yards by Pulaski began the drive. Pulaski got called for false start twice which put them on the twenty-six. Steven Cobbs made up for that by running it up to the thirty-one yardline. Simmons took it up to the thirty-seven after that, and then with the down fourth and six, Luis Piscura punted to a would-be returner who missed the ball at the sixteen yardline.

In the shortest drive of the night, the Vikings lost a yard. Then Austin Twine intercepted a pass and ran fifteen yards to the endzone for a touchdown and a Piscura point, elevating the numbers to 35-0 with a sorry 2:38 remaining. About that, Twine said, “that was pretty good, considering it was at the opening game. That’s got to keep happening.”

Luis’ kickoff sailed into the arms of a Viking at about their two-yardline. In an unseen foul, junior inside linebacker Ryan Brown was clipped from behind and the carrier made it up to the sixteen. Three yards later, the carrier was stopped by pretty much every member of the defense. Five yards after that, Rashad Simmons pulled the stop off on his own. A no-gainer followed, and then Northside punted. Pulaski decided to finally show mercy, putting no one back to catch it and letting themselves start back at their thirty-eight, where secondary quarterback Austin Twine took a knee to run out the clock which already had had less than a minute remaining. So there it was, folks: Cougars 35, Vikings zilch.

This was nothing short of a great season opener. Keep in mind, however, that the same thing happened last season. Next week at Dobson Stadium, we face William Fleming. Show up and cheer on our boys. We haven’t beaten the Colonels in two years. If the records are right, we’ve never lost to a team three in a row. But we shall cross that bridge when we come to it next Friday night. Till Then, this is a very tired Pete Cougar signing off and going to bed.

Game Pictures
by Steven Marcus

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Game Pictures by Steven Marcus

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